Drinking for Research
by GoxHaya
Summary: Growing up means facing high school, and Wally wants to be prepared for anything thrown at him. But can he convince the Boy Wonder to get drunk with him in the name of scientific research? Mild KF/Robin. Underage drinking.


Hey any readers that have us on Author Alert and open this in curiosity. Sorry for not updating any of our other fics lately. Bogged with school and this just came out because I was going insane. Hope you still love us...

On another note, hi there new readers (which I'm sure is everyone because this is our first non-Hetalia fic). I've totes gotten obsessed with YJ and have been itching to write a fanfic, but my muse is Go, so I was at a wall. Got her obsessed and BAM. First oneshot. YEES. You ca expect more from us =D We have two full length fics already in the planning factory~

Disclaimer: We do not own Young Justice or the characters.

Warning: Mild cursing, underage drinking and inebriation, and hintings of slash

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><p><strong>Drinking for Research<strong>

"Hey Robs! _Robs_. Wanna get drunk?"

The soda in Robin's mouth sprayed the room as he pressed the pause button for their game with his toe. "What?"

The young speedster nodded his head in a big and exaggerated motion. His grin was also a bit _too_ large. "C'mon man! We can see what kinda drunks we are. It'd be _hilarious_."

Robin wiped the dribbled soda from his chin and stared at his friend in disbelief through his sunglasses. "Are you kidding me? Dude! We're nowhere close to old enough to drink!"

In incredulousness Wally threw his hands into the air. "But we're old enough to beat up villains and drive motorcycles!" Then he brought his arms down to cross them, wearing a knowing grin as he leaned in towards Robin. "Besides. Think about it. Wouldn't it be better to find out now what kind of drunk you are instead of later? What if when you get that spiked punch you totally spill about everything? Or you're violent and commit a crime?"

"That's... Actually kinda intelligent sounding for you..." Robin pursed his lips in thought. What if, when drunk, he started pulling out the Robin moves on everyone? Or he was horrible depressed and started crying about his past? Or started complaining about Bruce/Batman? It would not be pretty… He huffed and then crossed his arms. "Does that really happen in high school? Drinks getting spiked without anyone knowing?"

"I've heard the stories. Dad has some serious tales from his time. So," a palm came up between them in waiting. The mischievous redhead held his fellow sidekicks eyes with his own daring green eyes. "You in?"

A frown formed as Robin shifted away and shook his head. This was insane. Completely insane and there was no way to justify doing this. And yet, there wasn't complete rejection of the idea in his words. "We can't do it anywhere in the Mountain. Or at my home... Batman has cameras everywhere. I doubt Barry and Iris would approve."

"Naturally. That's why I'm asking when Aunt Iris and Uncle Barry are going to be out on a date tonight."

"For how long though?"

"Knowing them? All night. They'll be late to dinner and miss the reservation and Aunt Iris will be stubborn and wait until a table opens up."

"It sounds too fool proof," Robin muttered, trying to think of a possible flaw that Wally could not easily talk his way out of. "What if Bats assigns a sudden mission?"

"Getting a call from him's pretty sobering." Laughing, Wally shook his head at these excuses. Oh. This was _so _happening. "Besides. It'd be some seriously epic training! Seeing how we work under the influence is also viable research."

"It would..." Robin was convinced for the most part (not to mention greatly curious), but his moral compass was going crazy. This was going against everything Bruce ever taught him! "Batman can never know."

"You think I want to die?" Came in a rolling of green eyes.

"Okay..." Robin finally grinned and winked. "Let's do this."

* * *

><p>"Rob?"<p>

Wally nudged his arm with the newly opened bottle. The two stood in the kitchen of the Allen home.

"Yo. Earth to Rob."

"He will kill me! I can't do this!" Dick's voice squeaked as his now visible eyes refused to leave the open bottle in his hands.

"Dude." They were back to this again? "_Dude_."

"No-no you're right there's no reason to back out now!" Gaze hardened, Dick took a deep

breath, and then squeezed his eyes shut, taking a large gulp of his beer. He coughed and slammed the bottle down with a scowl. "This tastes nasty!"

Wally brought down his own darkly tinted glass to blink. Two emptied ones already stood beside him on the counter. "Really?" He held the thing up to his eyes to inspect the contents. "Not that bad."

"You've had two already?" Dick snorted and finished his bottle, not to be shown up by the Kid Idiot. "That's not fair. You can't use your speed to drink!"

"Hey." Wally pointed his drink at the Boy Wonder. "It's a disadvantage in some cases. I couldn't even taste the first one. Second one only a little. And I don't even feel much at all."

Downing another one, enjoying the taste a little more this time, Dick snorted. "Can you even get drunk?"

"I was hoping I could a little. It'd be lame if I couldn't." Frowning at the prospect, Wally finished off his third. What kind of college life would he ever have if he couldn't get inebriated? Honestly. It'd be boring as hell.

"Maybe you need something stronger?" Dick felt butterflies in his stomach and a pleasant yet unsettling lightness fill his head as he started his third bottle. How many did it take for one to be considered drunk? Women could get drunk off of two or so. Young teenagers who had never had alcohol in their system before could probably get wasted off even one… Was he drunk already? No, there was a haze in his mind, but he could still think clearly. At least. He thought he could.

In contrast Wally found himself feeling leaden and sluggish if only by the fraction of a second delay in his normally speedy internal processes. Like his thoughts were slower. "Like Uncle Barry of all people would have anything. I was surprised there was beer around. It's probably all Aunt Iris's."

Dick burst into giggles and waved his empty third beer in the air. In the back of his mind he wondered why he found this so amusing, but the thought was pushed away - as well as that little voice for the rest of the night - as he exclaimed. "She's such a funny woman!"

"Pft. You've never seen her when _she_ drinks. Some family reunions can be great when she's around."

This explanation only brought more giggles to the Boy Wonder. He rested his head on the counter, shaking with his snickers, and closed his eyes, trying to find some semblance of his normal disposition. "Wally, I think we can say I'm drunk now. Possibly."

"I'll drink to that." Wally cracked up at his own pun. Then he poked Robin's side. "So you're just a laughing drunk? _Lame_."

Dick huffed and grabbed the rude finger, pulling it and Wally's arm into his grasp. He stuck his tongue out as he nuzzled the captive appendage. "At least I can get drunk, Kid Sober."

Nursing his fourth, Wally rose a brow down at his younger, shorter friend. "Veeery original, Rob. That gets you the best ID Maker Award. Hands down."

"Shut up my head is fuzzy right now!" He let go to punch Wally, noticing the new bottle in his hand in the process. No way was he going to let Wally out drink him. Grinning smugly, Dick grabbed another bottle and left the kitchen to make himself comfortable on the couch. "Not like you could come up with anything better, anyways."

'_I can't_,' not out loud, but inwardly Wally would admit it. While the effects were still minute and fleeting, he could tell that before it was cleaned from his system in his hyper-metabolized body the alcohol could at least bring him down to something more of a normal level. _Something of_. He still was beside Robin in a second. Well, a second _and a half_.

"Awww, so you're a pouty drunk?"

"I'm not pouting! Stop trying to deduct what kind of drunk I am before there's any substantial evidence for your hypothesis!" As he was speaking, Dick leaned against his friend and nuzzled into his shoulder, setting the half empty bottle to the side as he got comfortable.

Again an orange brow came up in the freckled speedster's face in response to Dick's antics. "Are you cold or something?" It was no big secret that a speedster's body was naturally warmer than the average human's, so in most cases people preferred to keep away from Wally so as to not end up sweating in his toasty warmth, or they stuck to him when it was chilly.

"Huh? What? Why would I be cold?" Laughing, the boy simply continued nuzzling Wally's shoulder. "Turn on the TV, I bet Adventure Time is on right now."

A snort then ruffling of perfect black hair. "Oh right. I forgot. You're _thirteen_," as Wally did as ordered.

"It's an interesting show!" Dick argued, curling further into his friend as the loud cheers of Jake and Finn filled the room. "There has to been a hidden meaning in each episode, I know it. It can't have been written on crack like everyone says."

"I can't even..." Even on his fast thought trains Wally didn't think he could fathom this kids _hat_, much less the meaning behind an episode.

"Shush!" Further yet Dick increased their contact as he climbed into Wally's lap, covering his mouth with both hands to silence him.

"Mmrf!" Exclaimed our held Nebraskan. The hell was he doing now?

Eyes glued to the television, Dick pressed harder on Wally's mouth and hissed, "I said shush!"

_'You've got to be kidding me_.' The expression was unamused. Very unamused.

The commercials began and Dick removed his hands to wrap his arms around Wally's neck. "Okay you can talk now," he laughed, now nuzzling Wally's chest.

"The heck is up with you?" Seriously. Wally spoke in a huff.

Laughter was his response as he hugged Wally closer. "I don't know! I'm drunk. I think. I don't know. I just want to hug you right now."

"Yeah. You're drunk." _No_ denying that. Shaking his head, Wally patted the inebriated sidekick's back. "An affectionate drunk. It's official."

"What?" Dick sat up, pulling his arms back to cross them in a pout. "No way. It's only been 20 minutes. There's no way to tell what kind of drunk I am! Being affectionate is lame and girly."

"Again. You're thirteen. 20 minutes and what, three beers? That's enough to get you drunk _Robby-poo_~" he sang with a pinching of that pouting cheek.

"But I'm not some cuddle-drunk. I'm just- Yeah I'm tired that explains it." As if his body had a mind of its own, Dick Grayson was once more attached and snuggling with the ginger he was sitting on. "I must be a tired drunk is all. How lame."

"Dude," Robin had his cheek poked, "I've seen you tired. I've seen you almost pass out. Best you do is fall asleep on my shoulder. You're a cuddly drunk. Accept it, Batgirl."

"B-Batgirl?" Narrowing his eyes in a stern glare, Dick pulled away again, but this time to get on his feet unsteadily. He crossed the living room and plopped into the armchair, cheeks red with a mix of alcohol and pout. "Not cool dude! You just don't say that!"

Well that worked beautifully didn't? Damn he loved getting a rise out of Robin. Screw his own drinking, drunk Dick was more than entertaining enough! "Did I hurt your feelings? I'm sowwy."

This only brought a colder glare. "I'm drunk, not four."

"Pouting face doesn't help your case, man."

"I'm not pouting." Dick grumbled, his icy stare melting from his blush. "It's called _glaring_."

"Well you do have the best teacher," he mused with a thoughtful nod.

Eyes wide and suddenly very serious, Dick was at the edge of his seat as he exclaimed, "Of course I do!"

"Pffft. Just now realizing that?"

"No- I thought you were making fun of- Oh the show is back on!" With a giggle, leap, and bound, Dick was back in Wally's lap to attentively watch his kid's show.

"Hey, what happens when I wanna get up?"

"Your problem," he mumbled, stuffing a hand over the ginger's mouth once more.

'_Of course_.' Arms crossed over Wally's chest, grazing Dick's back. '_This show_ better _end sometime soon_…'

Eventually it did. But unfortunately for Wally, they had caught the show right as it had begun, so he was stuck watching the entire 30 minute block. Though, the suffering didn't seem like too much of a price when a loud yawn came from his friend. Dick shifted in Wally's lap so he could pull his knees into him, then rest his head sleepily on Wally's chest.

"Dude this whole drinking thing is pretty lame..."

An elbow rested on the armrest beside Wally so he could rest his cheek against his knuckles in watching Dick as he replied. "'Cause we're not at a party. It's _research_."

"No... Pretty sure throwing myself at random people at a party would be lame too." Dick snorted and closed his eyes, a wave of exhaustion hitting. "Now I'm tired."

"And as easy as running you home would be, I'm _pretty_ sure you'd still be obvious to Bats." So there had been some bad planning on his end possibly…

"Idiot. I told him I was sleeping over." Dick peeked an eye open to stare at Wally incredulously. "Did you really think _I_ wouldn't think of that?"

An innocent smile was offered. "Of course not. I knew in my heart of hearts the intelligence of Boy Wonder cannot be rivaled."

"Got that right..." Instead of dozing off as his slurred speech spiraled into silence, Dick suddenly sat up with his mouth agape. "Wait! You aren't drunk! Why aren't you drunk! You did this to make fun of me, didn't you?"

"I _was_ drunk. For maybe half an hour." The hand not holding his head came up to point a knowing finger in the air. "So yes, it was still research on my end. Admittedly more to see you, but hey."

Red flared on Dick's face and burned the tips of his ears. This was beyond ridiculous! He hid his face in Wally's chest - his drunken mind seeing no other alternative - and whined, "You suck!"

"Oh come on!" Laughing, Wally ruffled the dark hair of the boy pressed against his body yet again. "It's been so hilarious. Just like I said it'd be."

"For you. My mind keeps going all over the place..." Still pressed into him, Dick glanced up and mumbled into Wally, "All I know is that I want to keep hugging you."

"I'm sure there's some deep psychological reason for what type of drunk people are, affectionate ones included."

"I'm sure there is, but my head hurts too much to think about that." Dick furrowed his brows in frustration, trying to think through the haze in his mind - despite what he said - to no avail. He sighed and flopped against Wally. "Can we go to bed?"

"Past your bedtime~?"

"No, my head hurts because I'm underage and just downed three and a half bottles of beer within ten minutes!" Sitting up again to properly punch Wally seemed really unappealing - it would take too much effort! - at the moment, so Dick settled for getting back at the idiot by tilting his head up enough to bite his neck.

The entire night Wally had been being his suave self. Oh yes, he could be suave. Enough. Or maybe just laid back. Cool as a cucumber, man. No other way could he take in so much of this hilarity. So all of the closeness really didn't affect him. Because really, they were used to exchanging punches and falling asleep leaned against each other and a few embarrassing experiences of movie nights in which the redhead would cling to his younger counterpart at something in the horror film. But this. This was _not_ normal.

How did one act cool when your best friend just _bit them_?

"The hell-?" Yelping ungainly, our speedster pushed his attacker away, face red in a mixture of embarrassment and utter confusion. "Last I checked, there was _no_ vamp blood in that beer!"

Caught completely off guard, with his reaction time greatly delayed, Dick found himself sprawled across the rest of the couch, blinking in confusion. What just happened? Why did Wally just freak out? His blue eyes were filled with hurt as he explained quietly, "But I was too tired to punch you."

"So you _bite_ me?" He still gripped the side of his jugular. A part of Wally half expected to see blood when he pulled his hand back. Who knew what kind of crazy sharp teeth Boy Wonder had?

Okay maybe it hadn't been the smartest idea, Dick realized as he thought about it. But there was no reason for Wally to freak out so much. "Only lightly."

"Only lightly he says." Wally West had to think fast. He was overreacting. Well, he wasn't, but he didn't want to. Didn't want to freak Robin out. "Be happy I heal quickly, otherwise a bite on my neck would have been _great_ to explain away to my folks."

Grinning, Dick rolled back onto Wally's lap, using it as a pillow this time, and snuggled his waist. "That would funny to watch though!"

But now, now it made Wally a little awkward. Forcing a shaky sigh he rested his arms on the backing of the couch. "Mom would have a conniption, Dad would go on to say he wouldn't support any brats I father." He leaned his head back to run one hand through his hair.

"But, Barry would laugh hysterically and tease you even more than he would at first when he learns it was from me," Dick added, giggling quietly.

"Oh I'm _sure_ he would," he muttered with a blush beneath his sprinkling of freckles.

Smiling brightly, Dick rolled over to stare up at Wally on his back. "Maybe I should make a lasting one as payback for tricking me into getting drunk without you."

A lasting one? Questioning such methods, Wally rose a brow, though only glanced down at him without a movement of his head. "How would you do that?" There wasn't much someone could do beyond serious wounds that wouldn't heal within a few hours.

"Well I'm sure sucking on your skin while biting would make it last. That's how you give a hickey, right?"

"... Dude! _Not_ cool!"

"It would be funny though!" Dick giggled, curling into him as he shook with laughter.

Oh yeah. Just hilarious. Wally held a hand over his face and gave a groan at the very thought. "Course it would."

"Mhmm," Yawning again, Dick buried his head into Wally's stomach. "Can we go to bed now?"

"Yeeah. You go on ahead. I'm gonna get a quick midnight snack." Not being able to move for half an hour during Adventure Time had left the teen with a _serious_ case of the munchies after his bout with alcohol.

His pout was prominent, but Dick didn't protest as he got to his feet and stumbled upstairs. He changed into his Batman pajama pants and slid under the covers of Wally's bed. But his arms were itching to _hug_ something. Wally needed to _hurry up_.

By the time the speedster got to his room, the Boy Wonder had several pillows captive in a tight embrace as he snored lightly. The last of the chips were stuffed into Wally's mouth in his pause at the sight. Then when he swallowed he shook his head. "Thanks, Rob. Thanks a lot." Now where'd he put that sleeping bag...

Blue eyes shot open and stared at Wally intently, words leaving his mouth without thinking. "Come _here_."

What now? "Want milk?" Wally asked when he'd come to stand beside the bed. Dick just snorted and grabbed Wally's hand. He relinquished his pillows for a better source of cuddling as he pulled Wally onto the bed and snuggled into his side.

Our giant pillow stared down at his koala bear in a few blinks. "_Weeeirdo_." However the insult fell to deaf ears. Dick was already dead asleep again, a smile pulling his lips upward as he hugged Wally's arm.

"This is gonna be a long night..."

The cuddly drunk just giggled and nestled his head into the crook of Wally's arm, mumbling in his slumber, "Love you too."

The color of his hair was not meant to be on his face. That color of red shouldn't be natural. Fucking... "Damn you, Rob," a blushing Wally grumbled in gently nuzzling that head of black hair.

* * *

><p>"Barry, dear, why are there empty beer bottles littering my house?" Iris stood in the doorway to their bedroom, arms crossed and brows raised as she watched her husband pause in unbuttoning his shirt from dinner.<p>

"... Beer bottles?" A pale brow rose in the man's face. "Well, I mean... Oh."

"Oh? _Oh_? That's what you have to say?" She sighed and shook her head. "Our nephew obviously helped himself."

"Eheheh. Maybe having alcohol in a house open to Wally West isn't the _best_ idea," Barry shrugged, chuckling. "He couldn't have been affected much though, not with his body setup."

"Perhaps not him, but it would a certain _thirteen year old_." Iris held up Robin's dark shades without any discernible expression. "This is down your alley now."

"Er..." Another offered smile. "For now we should just let them sleep it off. I'll talk to them in the morning. I wouldn't be able to get much through now anyway."

Iris crossed the room and pushed the glasses into Barry's hands. "Well go check on them and make sure Robin gets these back. I'm going to clean their mess."

"He'll apologize in the morning I'm sure." With his passing Barry kissed his love, an apologetic smile in his face. Wally was a good kid, after all. But still a kid. One that gave his aunt specifically some troubles.

Not yet convinced, Iris pursed her lips and said, "Yes, I'm sure he will. But you're not allowed to take the fall for him if Batman finds out."

How naive. The elder speedster shook his head and laughed. "They've probably already got that all worked out for themselves."

"Your hide," his wife sang with a wink as she left to clean the sidekicks' mess.

"My very soul, knowing Bruce." Awkward laughter. Dear Lord if the man ever knew his beloved sidekick was being tempted into wrongs by Wally. Iris would be out a husband and a nephew in one go.

From there Barry brought himself to stand before the door of their guest-turned-teenager's room. Quietly he opened the threshold and stepped in to set the glasses aside on a table. Only then did he glance over and allow himself a peek at the two boys curled up together. Barry smiled.

* * *

><p>"Never have I been so thankful for my glasses," Robin groaned, leaning against Wally as the computer announced their entrance to the mountain, the bright lights still hurting his head through the dark shades. "I'm never drinking again."<p>

"Pffft. Well damn."

"Why won't you tell me what kind of drunk I am?" He whined, pulling away from KF to hopefully find solace in food in the kitchen. "I seriously can't remember."

"Good. Because I'm telling you right now." Green eyes narrowed in a stern glare from Wally at his friend. "You should _never_ show it to anyone else."

"Well that's not helpful!" Pouring himself a glass of milk, Robin scowled. "Was I violent? Was I depressive? Did I do something stupid?"

"Debatably all three..."

"Oh that's just great. That tells me _nothing_." Robin huffed and set his glass down. "Well it's settled. I'm never drinking again."

"Wait, what?" The demanding look fell from Wally's visage at that statement. "I didn't say that! Just don't drink unless I'm there."

"Yeah, no. The after, hangover thing is not any fun either. And, y'know, the _memory lapse_." Glass of milk gone, Robin left the kitchen to collapse onto the couch. "Never. Drinking. Again."

Dramatically Wally fell to his knees with a thud. "_But Rooobiiiiin_."

"Give me one good reason."

"The _entertainment value_!"

"Yeah. You suck." Robin curled into the cushions and groaned. "Never drinking again."

From his place Wallace West sniffed. "No fun."

**End**

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><p>Heeeey guys. Go here with our first YJ fic and my first… Well, anything in the genre. Haya is pulling me into comics slowly, so… (Here was where Go was bitching about how she butchered Wally and Barry, but here is where it is deleted because she's a dumbass and I'm not allowing her to say this anymore~)<p> 


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